13 reasons why you shouldn’t date even if you think you should.

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Being single at an age where the environment supports you being in a relationship rather than single, is harder than being in an actual relationship. But no one has to be in a relationship when everybody else expects them to be. And that should not prompt you to be in one because there is more to being single than petty reasons like “chewing food loudly” to “I can’t seem to forget my ex” Dating is not easy, it is a tough road that constantly needs to be constructed so if you want to get on that road, there are many things you have to put into consideration. These are the reasons why you shouldn’t date even if your mind convinces you to.

1. Your expectations are about you.

If your meaning of dating or being in a relationship is dinner dates, trips, gifts, to be loved, cared for, cooked for and dressed up for then you shouldn’t be dating at all. There is nothing wrong with wanting all those but it is all wrong if it is why you want to see someone. You should know that you won’t be in a relationship alone. You don’t have to expect what you won’t give back. The other person should have what you think they deserve. So, it is not about you alone.

2. You don’t have sense of direction.

If you don’t know why you need a partner then you shouldn’t have one. You should be ready to take care of the emotions and situations that come with it. You being in a relationship just because you are supposed to be in one won’t be valuable to you at all.

Man in Black Long-sleeved Shirt and Woman in Black Dress

3. Commitment.

We are at a time in life where you can’t know that you are somebody’s wife until you are somebody’s wife. If you think you will just get into the relationship with someone to “try out” their emotions, then take a chill pill and grow up. There is more to dating than emotions, discipline and kindness always win the game.

4. Influence.

Oh I know! I know how it feels to be the single one in the whole group but have you met yourself yet? Can you handle what they are handling right now? If there is one thing that has reasonably brought regret in relationships, is friends. They will pressure you and connect you to different people and you will feel like you want to engage yourself in a relationship but guess who will be unhappy and making the other party unhappy too? YOU

5. Stability.

Things have totally changed. A woman can build an empire and do whatever she wants. Dating at 50 is a thing now and that is not changing any sooner. So, if you are rushing to date because you are looking for stability or scared that you might lose out on finding “the one” then you’d rather never find the one. It’s the truth, stability is something that you can get on your own and it shouldn’t be something you are looking forward to in a relationship.

Woman Wearing Pink Collared Half-sleeved Top

6. Desperacy.

You shouldn’t be in someone’s life emotionally if you have nothing left to lose. You are being selfish to yourself in a way that you won’t likely understand until things start to fall apart. You wouldn’t love to be taken for granted just because you are putting your whole self in. You have to decide whether you want to do this because you want to, not because you are supposed to.

7. Time.

Time is a precious thing but in this aspect of life you will have to waste time. You could be a career woman, a CEO of a starting company or just an average business woman who doesn’t easily get time to prepare her special wraps. With in that tight schedule, you must create time for your relationship, there is a lot involved with this, dates is the important one. If you aren’t ready to waste that time, you shouldn’t start one at all.

8. Disappointments.

The grass won’t be green all the time. Relationships are tough, they need a lot of work and mending. Smooth isn’t a description of a successful relationships. Sometimes you won’t like it but you have to stay in it anyway. If you aren’t ready to fight and have mood swings, they chill and Netflix is for you right now not dating.

9. Self-awareness.

Ayn Rand said that to say “I love you” one must know first how to say I. It all starts with you. How can you love someone when you don’t even know how to love yourself? You can’t. So find out what you love, where you love to be and what you love to do. From there, you will know who to love. Otherwise, leave dating to those who know themselves better.

10. Open to numerous options.

Do not date if you have an image in mind. Love comes in different ways and it is sweeter when you don’t see it coming. If you want qualifications like 6ft tall men with long beards, financially strategic without ex-girlfriend issues and driving a Lamborghini Aventador. I can solely tell you that you are not alone and not ready to date.

11. Freedom limitation.

Everyone loves “me time” but when you are thinking about being in a relationship then you should expect yourself to reduce your me time. When you are dating, you always carry two people everywhere you go. No more sex on the road with random guys, no more coming at 3 am drunk in the trunk of your friend’s cars, no more aimless travels to different cities of the world and no more thinking only about yourself. Are you ready for that?

12. You are still young.

Have you ever thought about how long you will be in a relationship with someone? It could literally lead to marriage, marriage that could be for 50 years. This is overwhelming to even just think about. That’s why you should go play, travel and run. Otherwise, you will likely have the worst 70 years of your life.

Woman Sitting on Car Window

13. You don’t want to date.

The only reason you should have for dating someone is to live happily ever after. No that’s not it maybe. No one knows, but one thing is for sure. Do not date if you do not want to. 100% you will regret it.

It is so clear that when you are single, there is a lot of pressure going on around you. You could be the problem or someone else but it’s never going to be fine with the whole world. It is important to understand that it is all up to you and no second party should be involved with that side of your life. Take your time and analyze your life to understand what you really want and go get it. Relationships aren’t a piece of bread so you might want to be careful if you are thinking about getting in one.

Are you dating? If not, share with me your part of the story of why you aren’t or ask me questions in the comment section below.

8 thoughts on “13 reasons why you shouldn’t date even if you think you should.

  1. Thank you so much for addressing this issue on Dating. It is so unfortunate that so many young people jump into Dating even when they are not ready for it. The society has made it look like a norm. In my own opinion I feel every young and single person need to have access to this post. Permit me to share it on all my social media handles..

    1. Hello Emmanuel. I’d love it if many of these young people knew that there is more choice on being happy the way you want to be and am glad that you care so go on and share.

  2. Lol, this article got me laughing, I had a mind influenced by something like this and it was nice for the mean time I used it but to  be sincere, you’ll definitely fall out of it. I think its normal for people to date at a certain stage in life, it builds the  mind of both male and females to be committed and this is a kind of preparation for the bigger task, marriage. I like your reasons, they are justifiable, and its good but they shouldn’t be held unto for too long. Its really nice reading through, you did a great job here. Thanks

    1. Hey Jones. Thanks, these things are common in girls actually, sometimes it all rotates around them and sometimes it doesn’t. 

  3. Hi, I found your article very thought provoking. You have brought up a lot of good points to consider. 

    I agree that making the decision to engage in a relationship is a big decision and many factors should be taken into account. This should not be taken lightly or be undertaken for the wrong reason. 

    I think that it is more common for women to choose to be on their own for the independence and especially as women get older there may not be the need to have a partner as much as there was earlier in her life when there was a desire for children and to build a family. 

    Sometimes taking on a partner does create many compromises and the whole picture needs to be taken into account as the negatives can often outweigh the positives. 

    I particularly agree with the point that you need to love yourself first and I think that this is a common point that more women are aware of and are working on. Women are very good at looking after other but they need to learn to take care of and love themselves first. 

      

    Karen 

    1. Hey I appreciate that you understand where I come from with this article. Most women who are hot, pretty and beautiful should diregard what the community thinks of them and pt themselves first.

  4. Hi Brenda.

    I like the fact that you warn us with these reasons. Most of us just rush into relationships because everyone else is in them. Thanks for this great information. Looking foward to more of your articles.

  5. Hi, I have been through the site. I must admit the site is awesome. Thanks for the job well done. I love the relationship advice you offer.appropriate. I wish you more success and good Luck.

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